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Local startup aims to challenge DuoLingo

by Becky Spitz
October 24, 2024

Move over, stupid, fat owl.

Local teenager, and devoted Dover-Merchant tip line user, Stan Berk, has teamed up with local heartthrob Clyde Dorn, 18, to pitch a new language-learning app to city council next week.

I sat down with Mr. Dorn on Tuesday to find out the details.

“Duolingo makes sense, in theory. People want to learn and grow or connect with their ancestors or travel or something. But when we polled language learners (n=13 plus the study’s authors), 92% said they were learning in order to ‘impress people of the opposite sex.’ Why has no one tried to help this demographic?” Mr. Dorn asked. Thus, CunningLinguist was born.

But when we polled language learners, 92% said they were learning in order to “impress people of the opposite sex.” Why has no one focused on this demographic?

Many of the benefits of being bi- or tri-lingual are reaped during the barside come-ons, and the temporary exoticism/eroticism of a new languaage

In our language learning program, you’ll learn important, and impressive phrases like: “Ich möchte das Ohrläppchen sehen” (May I see your earlobe?)

“Soy el viajero infinito y varonil” (I am an unstoppable manly traveler) and

“Wyglądasz zupełnie jak Jonbenet Ramsey” (You look just like Jonbenet Ramsey).

CunningLinguist doesn’t care about things like subject/verb stuff or, god forbid, dipthongs. Instead, the focus is on teaching students 3-5 confident phrases that give everyone an exotic sort of charm!

A separate feature teaches English-speakers more attractive versions of their native language. Our most popular accents are Irish and Australian.

“Raise up lights” (Razorblades in Australian)

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